Rising from the Grave...

 Well, I rediscovered that I had started this blog ages ago, so... why not continue?

I will not make excuses for my absence, since no one read this anyway. In the future? Who knows.

I have discovered, over the last month or so, that film critic Joe Bob Briggs is still active. Joe Bob is the persona of one John Bloom, and back in the 80s, his syndicated film review column was a must read for me in the papers. In the 90s and early 2000s, he was the host of TNT's MonsterVision, and brought his unique perspective to television film hosting. And now? Now he hosts 'The Last Drive-In' on Shudder TV.

Watching those is probably what brought me back to this... see, he looks at films the way I do. Or maybe I learned how to view films like him. I'm not sure of the chain of causality there. Not every film is a classic.... but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy them. Not every film has a budget, or good acting, or coherent storytelling... but they are still fun. 

Some of these movies are downright BAD, in fact. But they can still be interesting.

That being said, not all of them are. 

So, I thought I'd talk a bit about some movies in this blog.

This week's viewing has been eclectic at best: Army of the Dead (2021), Cannibal Holocaust (1980), Atragon (1963) and King Kong Escapes (1967).

So, capsule reviews:

Army of the Dead - Zach Snyder does zombies. Its largely what you would expect... lots of flash, lots of gore, some humor, some action, and some rather different zombies, which is refreshing. Most of the cast, lead by Dave Bautista, is solid, and even fun. I actually wanted to see more of the fatalistic helicopter pilot played by Tig Notaro, but my understanding is that she was mostly digitally inserted AFTER primary filming was complete, after the the original actor in the role was removed after charges of sexual misconduct. Consequences, people. Glad to see them really. What didn't I like about it? Zach Snyder put in a bunch of loose ends that are obvious lead ins for other movies. There is a heavy handed scene which implies TIME TRAVEL of all things. Its not to say that couldn't work, but it does rather come out of left field. Not a bad film, but not earth shaking either.

Cannibal Holocaust - considered one of the most shocking and controversial films of all time, even for horror films. It is definitely one of those movies that makes you feel dirty just by watching it. Its an unpleasant thing, and it was hard to watch... Its not a reaction I have to many films. I've only felt that way after, say, seeing Bloodsucking Freaks, or maybe one or two other movies. This is a movie that is the first of the 'found footage' genre made popular in later years by The Blair Witch Project. It details the recovery of film made by 4 young independent film makers who went to visit some cannibal tribes in the Amazon jungle. Its not much of a spoiler to say that they come to a bad end, and its all put on film to watch. I couldn't help but think, as the film went on, that these 'filmmakers' in the movie really deserved everything that happened to them, and I actually started to feel like the makers of the ACTUAL movie deserved some of the problems that THEY got after the release of Cannibal Holocaust as well. There is some seriously sick stuff in this film... from rape scenes to brutal violence, to the ACTUAL slaughter and butchering of live animals, this film really is just too much. I would never recommend it. And I recommend that most people avoid it. I watched it so YOU don't have to. This is not an enjoyable film... this is an endurance test.

Atragon - This a weird film, but not without its fun moments. Toho Studios was just starting to roll into their 60s Kaiju boom at this point. There IS a Kaiju in this film, and its impressive... but it also is all too brief in its appearance. Manda is the name of the Chinese Dragon styled monster that is worshiped by the undersea denizens of Mu, and they unleash it against the heroes spectacular multipurpose battleship, the Atragon (or Gotengo in the Japanese dub) during the climax of the film. Manda lasts about 5 minutes. However, if you DON'T view it as a Kaiju film, its a fun little science fiction piece with elements of espionage rolled in, and a more heavy handed call to put war and nationalism behind you as a way to move forward. The Japanese Nationalism displayed in the film would have been a more current concern when the film was first released, with the memories of World War II still fresh in the minds of the Japanese public. Several main characters embody the different points of view; Makoto Jinguji is the youthful heroine, who has largely grown up post-war, and doesn't like the cost of war on the people... Kasumi is a former Rear Admiral of the Imperial Navy, who lived through the war and surrender, and has grown to understand the limitations of war and the need for peace and a unified world... and finally Captain Hachiro Jinguji, father of Makoto, who sacrificed his family in order to NOT surrender his command at the end of the war, and who has been in hiding for 20 years developing a weapon to 'restore the honor and power' of Imperial Japan, and who refuses to aid against a global threat because he is so singularly focused on Japanese supremacy. These three figures play off each other nicely, and creating a lot of drama and tension, and make for a nice dynamic story. Modern audiences may find it slow, western audiences may find it strange territory (as its nationalism is distinctly NON-American in character and thus, not what an American audience or one used to American cinema would be used to), and Kaiju fans may find the battle with Manda somewhat of a disappointment, but its still a pretty solid film. This is a Japanese Science Fiction classic... and it tends to show up now and again. In 1995 it was remade as an anime called Super Atragon, which fleshes out some details and makes Mu a far more global threat, and has some nifty battle scenes. In 2004, in Godzilla: Final Wars, we get a rematch between the Gotengo and Manda, and we get to see the next journey of this impressive battleship (which is not only a ship, but but a submarine, a flying machine, and a burrowing machine. Its a fun premise, and personally, I'd like to see more done with it. I have a suspicion that Atragon would inspire the later ships seen in things like Space Battleship Yamato, Starblazers, and even the Harlock series.

King Kong Escapes - For sheer nonsense fun, this is a film that is ideally suited to entertain. Toho brings out King Kong, and MechaniKong to slug it out in Tokyo, and with the evil machinations of Doctor Hu, what more could you want? This is such a weird film, its impossible not to like it. Our heroes are the Captain, First Officer, and Nurse of an advanced submarine who stumble onto to Kong relaxing on his island. Kong takes a liking to the nurse (because, Kong apparently always needs a pretty girl to carry around) and they discover they can control him a bit by.... asking nicely. Who knew? We are told there is a native population on the island, but the only one we ever see is the crazy old man who shows up and shouts at them in a foreign language.(As a side note, this leads to a really bizarre exchange, when Akira Takarada's character of Jiro asks Rhodes Reason's Commander Nelson if he understands what is said... and the American Nelson informs him that yes he can, as its a Japanese Dialect... wouldn't the Japanese guy have been a better person to explain that to the white guy? Or why not make it some other language than Japanese so he's not white-splaining the language to the native speaker?) Meanwhile, Doctor Hu, a mad scientist in a black and silver cloak, is working for some unnamed Asian country trying to get hold of the massively powerful radioactive Element X... and has built a giant robot version of Kong to do the mining, because... apparently its just COOL to have a giant robot monkey rather than a digging machine. Dr. Hu is voiced, in the American dubbed version, but the late great Paul Frees, who gives him a softer edged Russian accent for some reason, making Dr Hu sound like Boris Badanov's cousin. Rounding out the cast of characters is the mysterious emissary of the country Hu is working for, an attractive lady who apparently switches sides in every scene she's in, sometimes working for Hu, sometimes for the Heroes, and sometimes against everyone. At the climax of the film, Kong and his mechanical counterpart climb Tokyo Tower, and fight over American Nurse Susan Watson, and create all manner of mayhem. Its a tremendously fun ride, but not one you want to think about too deeply. 

With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound...

One of the great staples of Saturday Mad Theater was, of course, Godzilla. With the sheer number of Godzilla films in the 60s and 70s, the odds were good that Godzilla would show up at least every month or so on the show. And they never, ever, disappointed, even the worst of them. (OK, maybe not Godzilla's Revenge, which was just a bizarre film even by childhood standards.)

Really, the general plot of the films is irrelevant, which makes it perfect for when you're a kid. You just want to see the monsters fight. You want to see Tokyo, or Osaka get stomped and burned into oblivion. You want to see the tanks get melted and the planes get swatted out of the skies. It was only on rare occassions that the humans mattered in these movies. Godzilla and his sparring partners and allies were the stars.

Later, in the 80s and 90s, we got updated, grittier Godzilla films, in the Heisei Series. These kept the faith, and *felt* like Godzilla films, and managed to create a consistent mythology and a sort of continuity between the films that the original series sometimes seemed to lack.

And then came the dire "American" Godzilla film.... which really wasn't so much Godzilla as it was The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms redone. Jean Reno aside, nothing could really save this flop. It was different enough to alienate the classic fans (with great anger), and yet stupid enough to gain no new fans. The future was dark...

Until the Millennium Series came out, and Godzilla returned to its roots and provided some of the best entries in the franchise ever... including my personal favorite: Godzilla - Final Wars. Final Wars is a discussion for another time, because it is THAT amount of awesome... After Final Wars, Toho Studios declared they would not produce any Godzilla films for at least 10 years, and 2014 marks the end of that magic time limit...

We have a new American production of Godzilla being released in about a month, and judging from the trailers, there is room for hope. These new producers GET Godzilla. The Trailer alone proves to be more true to the series than the entire other American attempt.

We see considerable devastation. We hear Godzilla's trademark roar. We see humans fleeing in fear. We see what looks suspiciously like the clawed feet of a second monster. All with an ominous voiceover of Robert Oppenheimer's first thoughts on the atomic bomb: "I am become death, destroyer of worlds."

Taking a glance through the cast, I see they have Ken Watanabe cast as Daisuke Serizawa. If this is the same Serizawa as the original, I'm very pleased. (Actually, I'm always pleased to see Ken Watanabe in anything). Watanabe has that world weary, haunted quality that would work well for Serizawa.

It opens in April, and I am quietly optimistic.

The Blob

I first remember watching the Blob on Saturday Mad theater as a kid... And even more that the movie, I remember, a week or two after it aired, Superhost, in answering fan mail, revealed the first little piece of secret movie magic I remember ever hearing about.... the way they created the Blob in the first place.

This isn't to say I don't remember the movie. Lets face it, in the annals of movie monsters, The Blob is one of the more memorable ones. Who couldn't fail to be impressed by a creature as abstract as a puddle of man-eating strawberry jam? From its first appearance in the movie, on the end of the old man's stick, when it seemingly defies gravity and flows UPWARD along the stick to engulf the poor man's hand, it impresses.

And more impressive still? Steve McQueen's performance as the lead hero, Steve Andrews. This was a low budget film, and the first leading role for the young McQueen. And even in this, he shines bright, casting a long shadow over his co-stars and elevating this movie from just another B-Movie, to a classic. There is a fantastic scene in the film, just a simple character establishing scene, which really demonstrates just how great McQueen is as an actor.

Steve and Jane have just left the office of Dr. Hallen under instructions to go and search for someone who knows the old man who they have brought with the Blob attached to his hand. But upon leaving, Steve is immediately challenged to a drag-race by the other local kids, who aren't going to let him go without racing....  So, Steve cleverly twists the race to his advantage, turning it into a *backwards* drag race.... But once he wins this, it attracts the attention of the local police. Just watch McQueen during this scene... as he hems and haws his way through a shady explanation of what he was up to. He manages to convey devilish mischief, embarrassment, coy charm, and impatience all at the same time. Watch his hands nervously playing with the steering wheel, as he tries to avoid getting himself or Jane arrested... or, apparently worse, having their parents called... This scene shows why he went on to multiple Oscar nominations.

By the way, McQueen ended up learning a stark financial lesson from this movie... when he went to make it, he was offered either $3000 dollars flat, or 10% of the gross, and he went for the flat $3000. Had he gone for the percentage, he would have made somewhere around $1.5 Million.

The technicolor helps set it apart as well. This was a standout film in a year of standout films. 1958 saw the release of such movies as;  Gigi, Vertigo, A Touch of Evil, South Pacific, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, A Night to Remember, and The Defiant Ones.... 1958 also saw the release of Akira Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress, which helped to inspire Star Wars. And in science fiction and and horror films, there were a several classics released; Bell, Book, and Candle (a personal favorite), The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, The Fly, The Crawling Eye, Attack of the 50-Foot Woman, and perhaps above all the others, Hammer's first foray into horror, The Horror of Dracula.

The plot is straightforward. A meteor crashes into a small town in Pennsylvania. and from it emerges an amorphous monster that engulfs and absorbs any living thing is touches, growing ever larger and becoming a greater and greater threat. Steve and Jane know about it and try to warn the town, but since they are just teenagers, naturally, no one believes them. Eventually though, the truth becomes known, and its a race to discover exactly what does hurt the Blob before it devours the whole town... and maybe more.

The special effects are top notch, the acting is MORE than solid, the script is tight... Its hard to find a missed opportunity in this film... Well, except for that horrible theme song. Written by multiple Oscar-winning songwriter Burt Bacharach, 'Beware of the Blob' must have been written while he was incredibly drunk one weekend. My guess is he suffered an alcohol-induced amnesia while he was penning the thing, and most likely forgot about it in an hour or two, and The Blob's producer found the lyrics scrawled on a cocktail napkin he found stuck to the bottom of a lady's high heel shoe and kicked under the piano at some party.

Don't miss it.

World War Z

While its not really what I had intended to do with this blog, I'm going to talk a bit about a NEW horror movie... World War Z. And yes... there will be spoilers. If, like me, you read reviews AFTER you see the movie, this should not be an issue.

Its news to no one that zombies are the current golden child (albeit rotting and decayed child) of all the Horror Movie monsters... Vampires had their day in the... err.. moon, and for a brief while there back in the 80s, Werewolves had theirs too...  The popularity comes in cycles.

Anyone who knows me, knows that of all the movie monsters, its flesh eating zombies that get to me most. Its something about being eaten alive by mouths that weren't meant to kill prey swiftly... I'm not sure I can think of a more painful way to go that being torn apart by human teeth... I mean.... say what you will about a werewolf, but at least its fangs and claws are those of a predator and are meant for a swift kill. Sure, it will chow down on you, just like a zombie, but more likely than not, you'd be dead before it began.

So... World War Z, the movie, is something distinct from World War Z, the novel by Max Brooks. In general, the theme is the same, and there are some nice callouts to the novel, and in fact, Brook's other book, The Zombie Survival Guide. That being said, World War Z, the zombie movie, is something very distinct from every other zombie film out there.

The standard tropes of the Zombie film, repeated ad nauseum, in movie after movie, is that there is a zombie outbreak, and Lo!-and-Behold!, there are a rag-tag group of survivors holed up somewhere trying to survive the onslaught of the living dead... and typically the survivors fall victim to in-fighting and end up zombie-chow. The downbeat ending seems to be mandatory. We're told that the outbreak is world wide... but we never see it. And Governments seem to fall apart with astonishing quickness in these films too... Heck, in Diary of the Dead, from George Romero, the entire military command structure falls apart in less that 48 hours and gives way to marauding bands of soldiers who are courteous enough to steal all your supplies, but leave you your weapons, because.... uh... apparently that would be murder. And let you keep the videotape of them doing it... because....  ummm... yeah, I got nothing. George, no offense, but.... trying thinking things through a little more next time.

World War Z actually avoids most of these cliches, and as a result, creates something new. We see the outbreak of the plague... and how it spreads so quickly (ever wonder how slow moving zombies managed to get so numerous in so short a time? Me too...). We see what, exactly, happens in the government in the face of sudden catastrophe (President is dead? VP is missing? Joint Chiefs and key members of Congress now out biting the neighbors? No problem.... ). We see methods of zombie defense that I've always wondered why I'd never seen before. (Like... hey... maybe if you pad and armor your forearm, you can shove it into a zombie's mouth like you would an attack dog, and while its busy trying to chew through it, you can shoot it in the head!).

But even more so, it SHOWS us the world being overrun... we don't just hear about it in a line of dialogue that passes by and is easy to miss. It SHOWS us the measures that the governments of the world and the United Nations are taking to combat this new, universal threat.

Oh sure... we get some lip service paid to that sort of research in, say, Romero's Day of the Dead... but you never really get the feeling the people are all that serious about it. Again, its more about that internal conflict than it is about reality.

We follow a UN Investigator named Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt) who is coerced into escorting a genius virologist out into the zombie infested world in order to find 'patient zero', the first recorded infection, in order to try and find a cure, or a way to combat the spread of the zombie virus. Unfortunately, gung-ho scientist lasts about 30 seconds once they touch ground, accidentally shooting himself in the face when trying to flee the attacking zombies. Not everyone is meant for field work.

This leaves Lane alone, a non-scientist, to complete the mission. And this brings up one of the absolute SMARTEST aspects of this film. It brings an essential tool to the arsenal of those combating the undead hordes.... OBSERVATION.

Thats right... what ultimately saves the day, is simply PAYING ATTENTION.

Its not massive weapons and pitched battles (although there are plenty of those in the movie) that proves critical, its something that is far too commonly overlooked in movies of this kind.

Many of the scenes are extremely tense, and up there with the very best zombie films... The scene onboard the plane is nailbiting...The scenes in the WHO research facility, where they are trying to sneak past the zombified staff is edge of your seat stuff.

The end of the film leaves us with something that doesn't exist in other zombie movies; a chance to fight back against it. No, its not a cure. But its a step toward reclaiming the world from the undead.

People looking for a traditional zombie movie may be disappointed. There is surprisingly little blood, and no guts... gore takes a backseat to fear in this one. As it should be in my opinion.

Back to the FLICKS!

Saturday afternoons meant only one thing when I was a child: Monster Movies.

They were a HUGE part of my life growing up, so much so that I seem to remember being in kindergarten and the teachers were going around the room asking us what we were thankful for. When it came around to me, sitting 3 spaces from the end of our alphabetically arranged seating chart, I cheerfully answered "Monster Movies!" the response evoked a certain controversy in this group of Post-Preschoolers, some of whom thought I was being flippant (or they would have had they been aware of the word 'flippant' at age 5.) On the other hand,the next two people in the class echoed my response, and the teachers backed our answers against the tiny mob. It genuinely WAS something I was thankful for.

I feel no shame in declaring Cleveland to be THE home of the horror movie host, given the sheer number that we have had over the years, and their longevity. From one of the great pioneers, Ghoulardi, we can trace a path through Big Chuck and Houlihan, and later still Big Chuck and Li'l John, through The Ghoul, Superhost, Son of the Ghoul..... all of them remarkably long lasting, even as the era of the horror host faded, they remained with strong and faithful audiences.

As the opening credits of Saturday Mad Theater would roll, in occasionally snowy glory (the was a UHF channel in the days before cable), they would declare "Superhost brings you: Saturday Afternoon!" And it was true. We'd start out at noon, with shorts by the Three Stooges, or Laurel & Hardy, or the Little Rascals... then at 1 PM was Saturday Mad Theater 1, followed by Saturday Mad Theater 2, which introduced me to my lifelong love of monsters, horror and science fiction. (as a side note, this was usually followed up by reruns of Kung Fu, The Wild Wild West, the original Star Trek, Space 1999, and then ANOTHER monster movie at 8 or 9 PM. I could  (and often DID) spend entire days, sitting in front of the TV without changing the channel... a feat no other channel has really managed to duplicate since). Scattered through out there were childish, jokey skits (personal favorites were The Moronic Woman, a parody of The Bionic Woman, and of course Supe's early music video for 'Convoy'.) It was bliss.

Through Saturday Mad Theater, I was introduced to Godzilla, Gamera, Rodan, Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Vincent Price, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, and the Blob. I discovered Hammer Horror on Mad Theater, and a hero in Cushing's Van Helsing. I learned about director styles without realizing it, and by age 12, I could distinguish the styles of Roger Corman, Jimmy Sangster, Ishiro Honda, William Castle, and others simply by watching a clip.

And that's what this blog is going to be all about... all those great movies, all those magic memories. I hope to present movie reviews, maybe a synopsis or two (or three), maybe some insight, and hopefully a little humor too... I might not be able to host a movie show, but by god, I can sure TALK about 'em!

And its dedicated with affection and respect to: Marty Sullivan, Ron Sweed, Ernie Anderson, Chuck Schadowski, John Rinadli, and Bob Wells. Thanks for a great childhood guys.

And to Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, and Vincent Price. For obvious reasons.

And now...  as Supes would say: Back to the Flicks!